Message ideas

Funny retirement messages for a coworker's card

The retirement card is going around the office, you have the pen, and your mind is blank. Here are funny retirement messages that celebrate the person, poke a little fun at work and stay kind.

Short and funny

Congratulations on your permanent out of office.
No more meetings that could have been emails. Enjoy!
Your new job title: Former Employee, Full Time Relaxer.
Happy retirement! Your inbox will finally get some rest too.
Enjoy every Monday. You earned all of them.

Funny with a sweet ending

Who is going to fix the printer now? Seriously, we will miss you.
You are the only person who could make a status update meeting fun. Enjoy every minute.
The office will be quieter, the snacks will last longer, and we will miss you the whole time.
Congratulations on escaping. Please send postcards and not calendar invites.

For a boss

Thank you for being the kind of boss people actually want to work for. Enjoy your well earned out of office.
You approved a lot of time off requests. Now you get to approve your own, forever.

When you barely know them

Congratulations on your retirement. Wishing you lots of free time and zero alarms.
Happy retirement! Enjoy the next chapter.

Want a gift to go with the card?

Our funny retirement gifts are mugs, hoodies and desk gifts about leaving corporate life behind, like the Out of Office mug: permanently.

See funny retirement gifts

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Frequently asked questions

What do you write in a retirement card for someone you do not know well?

Keep it short and warm: congratulations, plus a wish for the next chapter. Two sentences is plenty.

Is it OK to be funny in a retirement card?

Yes, as long as the joke is about work or retirement, not about their age or health.

Should I sign with my full name?

In a big office, yes. Add your team or a shared memory so they know who you are.